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The Misery Of Love

by KPC

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1.
Subtract 02:39
Walking through the visions that I have in my sleep They wake me up & keep me up no use in counting sheep Things I have not done & the things I did too much I should just let it all go & not be quick to judge Call me haunted tortured beaten up inside By my own feels my own thoughts my own tired mind The mistakes the heartbreaks the self-destructive acts Take me out of my own head & please let me subtract It all began with my system creating regret Thoughts that a child would quickly forget Self-awareness insecurity overnight No longer was life as simple as wrong or right Call me haunted... Go go just go go Go go get out Go go just go go Go go get out Call me haunted...
2.
I woke up next to the preacher's wife I try to not be to surprised with this way of life So quiet on the pillow she's sleeping next to me From her breathing I can hear the sounds of the sea Last night we felt everything within us the heaven the Earth Sunday mornings won't be what they used to be truly a second birth I know my bible yes I know the words I know my rival yes I know I'm cursed I won't become a thing seriously It's only the fool who becomes anything... Yesterday when we fell she felt out of sorts I had seen her gaze I had heard the reports It's easy to be ill-suited in her kind of world To have the kind of dreams he thought so absurd I'm not trying to solve her problems I can't even solve my own With the soil that I've plowed & the seeds that I've sown I know my bible... Is it the voice of God speaking through him when he says: Intolerance....hate...murder....war I kiss her warm cheek as I turn to leave I think of her god and everything we believe Freed from the bench into a life of real meaning Goodbye to the church goodbye to the scheming I open the door I walk towards the light I feel my free will I feel divine right I know my bible...
3.
Do you want to leave me this way? Can't you see the love that you're pushing away? All we need's a little understanding I don't know why your look is so demanding Girls & boys grow older by the minute We've wasted our youth & now it's finished I prayed that I could only see you once more But every time I turn it's just another closed door I'd make love to you If you wanted me to But that's just a dream that I had That's a thing of the past I don't imagine everybody's so different But I can't find logic behind your wishes You come to me at your convenience Then you tell me that I don't believe in you I don't expect you to read my mind And now I'm here drowning in these bottles of wine You've taken all that I ever had to offer Now I'm drunk & alone without any lovers I'd make love to you... When I wake up early in the morning I can't get you out of my mind I drag myself down into the kitchen But it's only your coffee cup I find No matter how hard I try to forget You burn back in me like a flame I can't take much more of this confusion I wish that I could feel more than this pain I'd make love to you...
4.
I know you baby yes I know you well You act like your life is a burning hell Why don't you stop with those fire alarms 'Cause you know it's so cool when you're in my arms Your hair's a deep black & your head is the same You look so poor when I call out your name When I want you baby you say What are you pullin'? What I need right now is a round heeled woman She's confusion & pain But she don't feel the same She's confusion & pain And she won't take the blame You worship hate & all that you abhor 'Cause the world is full of greed & war You're so damn tired when you stand on the street But when you flash your eyes electricity Twisting & turning just to get up to speed You think you're so clever but not consciously You bend over backwards under the bridge The truth & the lies I know which is which She's confusion & pain... Sometimes completely unreceptive Everything can be so darkly subjective Today you're a high class debutante Tomorrow you let me see your panties Life so screwed crying with anger Sometimes you know it's you I wanna strangle When I'm plundering in your Garden of Eden How I know I don't know but I know you're still breathin' When I call you to party you say you might go You show up in your red jumpsuit you psycho When the beats are pumpin' you get on the floor You're the pentagram pussy that I adore She's confusion & pain...
5.
Fuck You 01:54
You say it's so damn easy doin' just like you But I can't live in this perpetual zoo I can't do what you say 'cause I can't stand your face I can't go on living this life like you want me to So I gotta say... Fuck you! I know what I'm doing don't waste my life Fuck you! I'll tell you where to go cut you with my knife Fuck you! Don't come and criticize I've had enough Fuck you! Stop using me and calling it love Fuck you! You want me to do things that I don't wanna do You want me to live my life just like you But it won't work you see 'cause I'm not what you think And I'd like to run my own life 'til I'm thru So I gotta say... Fuck you!
6.
I see facts I see games I see actions All with help I'm too slow I'm too blind I'm escaping to understand Catching a glimpse of the world In a second it's gone Reality depression & love These words I try on I see facts... There's always somewhere I can roam With nothing and no one Somehow I always end up alone I escape I learn from the sun Then it's your smile It's your face It's you That saves me I see facts... The feeling comes from inside My visions of you That's when I no longer hide My love it breaks through I see facts...
7.
I know your number yes I know your name I just wish I could remember if you feel the same Then I could in theory pick up that phone And ask your mama or your papa if that hottie's home If I called you baby what would you do? Would you talk to me or would you say go screw? You know how I feel I got that puppy love I wanna be happy baby like I once was I once was with that girl I no longer mention her name We talked we laughed sometimes we felt the same Then one day she said her love for me was gone I felt like such a shit for thinking she was the one If I called you... I was sitting on the stairs the ones leading to hell What exactly happened there I can never tell I was feeling something chilling like I knew it was coming When she appeared she looked so fucking stunning The she broke up with me So life goes on and I wanna give you that call Maybe ask you for a couple drinks with alcohol Maybe have some dinner maybe go to a movie I hope you think that that would be groovy If I called you...
8.
Forgive me if I smoke but it's all I got left Forgive me for my anger it's in my blood my death Forget that I don't listen I'm so easily distracted Walk with me and try to pretend that my life is not abstracted Forgive me when I act as if I was a boy But life and love don't work with me so easy to destroy The feeling of confusion it's dark and no one speaks I suffer from delusions and there ain't no stopping me Now it's late at night and I'm still desperately haunted The headlights' reflections remind me I'm unwanted Bodiless waves of death engine sounds the bell I climb the stairs alone and dread it opens up my hell Dead stoned starving... I know that I seem crazy or random like a storm But I was left abandoned by those who made me born I didn't ask to live but I can still so slowly die So please love me while you can fore I hit one more high My phone is now dead I had to cut that long wire I sit in the dark and smoke just me and the fire Bringing the enlightened thoughts of who I really am On the street I hear the people but I don't give a damn And I know you tried so hard so forgive all my excuses The hate in me won't go away and that what makes me do this Were you careful with my feelings? Did you love with all your heart? I can't get the intent when your love it falls apart So run back to your mama the warmth of her bosom I'm so far gone my mind and body are too numb Forget that you knew me and find some happiness I'm too tired to live I'm too weak to carry this Don't cry in your pillow like this was some doomed love My hands are too hard and sore for those kid gloves I'm tied up in tarot fortunes blown in lost dreams I can't buy the delusions I can't get off the G When your conscience tells you that palace is fake You wake up and see nothing left to forsake I can't never be your lover I ain't no Apollo I'm big asshole like Pablo Picasso Dead stoned starving... Maybe I'm too real I just can't forge this Don't come to me like you're some kind of reformist Women could not resist that Pablo Picasso Personality don't matter when you got the chirazo But I can't create I have no art or integrity I'm only the best at being my own enemy So cut another picture out of your teen magazine Why the hell it means something remains to be seen There ain't no frog there ain't no Prince Charming Only me in the dark dead stoned and starving Dead stoned starving
9.
The piggy turns chaotic division & selfishness into political ideology The piggy shades the truth & skirts the law The arbiter of the End of days Maybe if I babble I'll be able to unravel All the shit that's hung up inside my head But baby if you babble won't your mind also unravel Then you'd have no hang ups because then you'd be dead If I babble while I ramble like my fathers I'll preamble Through the valleys and the meadows of my mind If you bit her when you batter not all that chitter chatter its what you find All I find is a All I find is a Babble in the water and Babble in the water And it's just too bad Baby bibble babble we haven't yet unraveled Spend some time by yourself and you may find You don't get all you grabble so if you bibble babble Take a step back from the daily grind There's a bibble you see in every degree Of the pace that we chase in our wish to succeed Maybe it's the hunt that we want so bad not what you find All I find is a... If we swim or if we drown will the world keep spinning round To the beats and the measures inside the atmosphere Or are we not strangled by the oh so daily tangle The demands to take a stand when it's not so clear Soon the Earth it cannot hold us for our time it will unfold us For a future that's not at all sublime 'Cause there's so much psychobabble about the classes and the rabble and what you find All we find is a... The babble you see it used to make us free Till the mouth opened up to what's under Its all so easy how this piggy Became our future our reality And it sucks mutherfucker All I find is a...
10.
Hey lover Don't tell me about your past There is love in every season Each spell that's cast Everything That we have right here Will go on for all eternity Throughout the years Let's live and love and share each other in this time Cherish every season It's yours and mine Is it summer? We can bathe in our love The warm sun shining down on us The beams from above Let's life and love... Is it winter? There's no gloom set upon us We create heat with desire The hearth superfluous Let's live and live... Let's dance let's touch let's celebrate all time Our love Cherish every season... Is it autumn? We can feel no chill The leaves under our bodies They bend to our will Is it springtime? A rebirth of our love We're flush in bloom together And all that's to come Let's life and love... Let's dance...
11.
Tired of working the same old thing Hearing people talking about smoking & drinking Crazy but it seems that I don't fit in When you crush all that you know you know you can't win Staring at night into bedroom songs Black walls & blinds isolated & wrong I wish I could ascend & reach that ring Releasing me from this violent thing Crush crush crush Push away feel Crush crush crush Under my heel Smash smash smash Like a monster meal Smash smash smash My look of steel Waking at dawn to the pop & the clock I hit with satisfaction & I grope for the lock Corn Flake breakfast & soup mid-break I stand at the table like a fuckin' mistake Fumbling with the crumbs of desire gone awry My soup tastes like oil & my mouth runs dry Crying in my head burning in my heart My life has been a lie right from the start Love is not found through the fear & defense That breeds instead hate with no pretense Crush crush crush... I'm gonna crush all my despair Drive home tired sunglasses wearing Make me feel cool but my eyes are for staring Home looks good with a vacant driveway If my roommate is home buzzkill & fly away Sleep keeps things in the back of my mind Pictures the impossible & leaves me behind Makes fantasy a game & life a rotting corpse If I killed I'd be a real man & I'd feel no remorse Crush crush crush...
12.
Let me fall into your soft eyes Without my having to say a word This is as close as I can get to heaven Did you say something or was it your heart I heard? Take me away and I'll hold you forever Will we stay in love? Remain sincere? Are we lying to ourselves? Doing this out of fear I drift away on your sweet sugar voice I pray that I don't sweat I'm nervous it's not my choice Will you one day forget? I'm haunted that nothing lasts forever Do I risk the pain to live for the pleasure? Will we stay in love?... Your smile on my lips it giggles Your eyes they shine when you laugh It's warm and safe when we're together But will this kiss be our last? Will we stay in love?...
13.
One more drink & I'll be dead There's people playing with my head I only came to the bar tonight To get one drink alright? One more time & I'll be done 'Cause really guys I gotta run One more drag & I'll go crazy I can't see my mind is hazy I only smoke to ease my mind But I can tell it won't work this time One more time... To be or not to be That's the question can't you see Should I live or should I die I don't do either I just get by One more time...

credits

released April 6, 2024

Written*, performed & recorded by KPC
*"Babble in the water" & "One more time" lyric help by my big sister Kelly.
Mastered by Todd Tobias

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KPC Princeton, New Jersey

Unrefined Bedroom Pop.

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